Random Pictures of Me

My new found friend in SOHO, One Utama. kekekekeke

The Shopaholic In Me - Now you know why I'm so poor

Hmm.. I wonder where's my food??

15 minutes later.... still waiting....

30 minutes later.. Yup, still waiting and starving

Before my make over.. Yeah I know I look very country bumpkin but my hair was in the way

Ta Dah! New look...

I like my LC look better.. haha.. suits me better.

love is not like how u read in books or watch in movies

sometimes, reading too many books and watching too many movies are bad for you. why? because you lose your sense of reality. your expectations towards life are unrealistic. your opinions are formed based on life you see in movies or read in books.

i realized now that what movies/books say about love is a dream. in reality, it's not easy and it's different.

in reality, love is:-

• when he/she cooks instant noodle for you, middle of the night when you are hungry.
• when he/she touches your forehead to check whether you are down with fever.
• when he/she carries a heavy bag for you although he/she has to carry his/her own heavy stuff.
  
• when he/she kisses your cheek when you are reading or watching tv or sleeping.
  
• when he/she refrains from provoking you when he/she knows that you had a hard day.
• when he/she holds your hand when crossing roads or drains.
• when he/she hugs you when you feel cold
  
• when he/she surprises you by buying your favourite food
• when he/she companies you to watch a movie he/she dislike
• when he/she shares with you the good things in his/her life
• when he/she does silly gestures to make you laugh
• when he/she tries to understand your irrational fears and push them away
• when he/she shares with you his/her childhood memories, happy or sad.
• when he/she massages your head when you have a headache
• when he/she starts cam-whoring together with you. LOL
• when silence doesn't need to be a barrier between you. a comfortable silence.

ok. i'll stop being lovey dovey here. but.... doesn't books and movies teach you the most unrealistic stuff? for example, there's no such thing as an 24 hours perfect boyfriend/girlfriend. a boyfriend can't be sensitive to his girlfriend's needs all the time. a girlfriend can't be soft and gentle all the time. when a disagreement/argument happens, you don't make up immediately. nor does he comes apologizing all the time.

a relationship needs work. it doesn't just happen to be perfect from nothing. and most of the time, it is not romantic. come on, tell me, who has the time to be romantic most of the time? gosh.

bad movies, bad books. it creates a maya and blurs your perception of real life.

suitable suitor or the wrong one, it's up to you to decide, not standards set by movies/books. your happiness lies in your hands only.

and guys, have a great weekend! TGIF

Gentle, Soft & Feminine - Definitely not me

today, after some time (i am car pooling with people these days), i took the lrt. as usual, when i am in the lrt, i'll start to think, perhaps cause i was lacking of other things to do. and when i do start to think, i become really pessimistic or maybe you can call it, realistic.

you know how you hear in almost every single love song sung by guys aka men, that the person he is in love with, is gentle, soft and feminine. and thus, when i listen to a song today, a thought sprung up. i realized that i'm not gentle, soft nor am i really feminine. i am in reality, stubborn as a mule, has a temper like a bull, opinionated and loud spoken. does this mean that i'm less attractive to men? does that mean men would not be able to love someone like me?

wow. is this a surprise to me? some part of me will say yes, some part of me will say no. perhaps, i have known it deep down inside, that men aka egoistic people cannot tolerate a person like me for a long period of time. but then again, as i continue thinking, does it matter? do i really need to change for the sake of wanting to be loved? wouldn't i lose my identity? and wouldn't that make me unhappy? wait a minute, isn't the ultimate reason of wanting to be loved is to be happy? gosh, what a predicament.

yes, i do know that having a temper like me is not really a great thing nor it is a thing to be proud of. i admit that i have to learn to be more patient and to handle people with more care. however, i do know that, at the end of the day, a temper like mine will never go away, perhaps i can just tone it down. and being stubborn, is not a good thing either. stubbornness, sometimes causes me to do things that i don't mean to do. or causes me not to do things that i want to. i know i have to learn how to deal with my pride and my want to always be right.

i definitely do not wish to change certain things about me. for instance, i like being opinionated. i like voicing out my opinions and stand firm to it when i know i am right. i like the fact that i am able to tell people my views although i know it might agitate them. i like being direct, i like being honest and not being a major hypocrite. now, notice that i said major hypocrite. after so many years, i realize that every single person in this world is a hypocrite, just that some maybe more fake than the other. i like being real.

i like being me, i know i got to change but not to another person, just a better me. this means, at the end of the day, i definitely will not turn into someone that is gentle, soft and feminine. i'm sorry, i guess you just got to accept me not being gentle, soft and feminine.

:)

Not Pretty Enough - Kasey Chambers

Am I not pretty enough
Is my heart to broken
Do I cry too much
Am I too outspoken
Don't I make you laugh
Should I try it harder
Why do you see right through me

I live, I breathe, I let it rain on me
I sleep, I wake, I try hard not to break
I crave, I love, I've waited long enough
I try as hard as I can

Am I not pretty enough
Is my heart to broken
Do I cry too much
Am I too outspoken
Don't I make you laugh
Should I try it harder
Why do you see right through me

I laugh, I feel, I make believe it's real
I fall, I freeze, I pray down on my knees
I hope, I stand, I take it like a man
I try as hard as I can

Am I not pretty enough
Is my heart to broken
Do I cry too much
Am I too outspoken
Don't I make you laugh
Should I try it harder
Why do you see right through me

Why do you see
Why do you see
Why do you see right through me
Why do you see
Why do you see
Why do you see right through me
Why do you see
Why do you see
Why do you see right through me
Why do you see
Why do you see
Why do you see right through me

I first heard this song on my first night shift in Starbucks.. which was 4 years ago. It struck me to the core. It is as if, the song is about me. I felt myself being strip bare naked, for everyone to see. How I feel about myself, truly. The song... represent me and my insecurities.

I wish that, one day, when I listen to this song, I would not be affected by it anymore.

*yes, des. i'll try to be less vain. i know that beauty is not only skin deep. but somehow, even if u are beautiful inside, you will require to be a bit beautiful on the outside, to be accepted by others.

thank you for tagging me, Pagan! here's my meme

8 random facts/habits about Cath:-

1. i think i would be happier if i am 45kgs. i am just in a self-denial state.
   
2. i am afraid of birds, even chickens. really! once, i didn't go out of the house for the whole day cause there was a rooster at the gate.
3. i always dream of working overseas. i.e. USA, Australia, UK - in pursuit of happiness
   
4. i cry easily. i can go on and on for the whole night. yeah, cry me a river!
   
5. i can't really drive, cause i can't park/reverse. i am extremely ashamed of that fact.
   
6. i am too strong-willed that i think i'm not suitable to date.
   
7. i destroy at least a pair of shoes every month. thus, my excuse to buy more.
   
8. i wallow in self-pity too much. yup, i'm pathetic, i know. trying to learn not to do so anymore!

hmm. i'm not going to tag anyone... please do it if you want to... then let me know, so that i can go read it.

melt it away... and 450ml down

i wish for it to be melted away.... my excess fats. ahhahha

i know i know. the lack of updates. but i have nothing to say and i have been busy.

yesterday, i donated 450ml of my blood away.

honestly, i'm not really a charitable person when it comes to giving money to the unfortunate. i only donate my money to the Church. other than that, when i pass a blind man, or a deaf person tries to sell me something, i will just say no. perhaps, this is due to my cynicism. there's a lot of unfortunate people asking for money from you these days. especially when you are sitting down, eating. i don't know whether they are really that unfortunate or just.. trying to con your money by inducing sympathy.

however, i don't mind donating my blood, anytime! because i am sure it will go to someone who needs it. and the best thing is, no money is involved! yahoo!

gosh.... my office is freezing again... and today is friday... it looks really gloomy outside... rainy friday.

i pledge i will try not to allow the gloominess of the weather to affect me. i promise i will be more cheerful.

have a great weekend, guys!

*i shall love myself more. i shall believe in myself more. i shall i shall i shall forget about responsibilities. why waste my youth away? :P

dear jamy and yenny

hey you two,

please, for my sake, write in englishhhhhhh... i can't read chinese... it's bad enough that every single post in yenny's blog is in chinese... nowadays, jamy's too!!!!!!!!!

both of you are my favourite bloggers.......... now, what am i supposed to do for reading materials? besides, i feel left out!!!

damn it, why can't i read and write in CHINESE?

i'm a freaking CHINESE, for heaven's sake.

gosh. i'm so useless.