one for the memory

it's that time of year again

time to say goodbye to 2007 that is. a chapter is closing and a new chapter is beginning. would it be more interesting? gosh, i actually wrote alot today, however, in my rush, i did not manage to publish it. which kinda kills my mood to write.

what i was saying mostly was of how 2007 was for me. recently someone asked me, what kinda things that i have achieve in 2007.... and i was stumped by the question. i couldn't answer as honestly, i can't remember what sort of stuff that really makes me proud and want to proclaim it to the world.

to me, i take life when it comes. i live life, not planning ahead, absorbing every single moment of it. don't get me wrong.. i do plan of course, but not everything. i find it hard to plan what to do during my weekends, i find it hard to plan my career, i find it hard to plan for the future, but i do plan how much to save each year, i do plan for trips, hmm.. how do i explain this? i guess, i just don't plan aka think much when the end result requires other factors than just me.

i don't measure my life based on achievements... i measure it by who i'm with, how i'm spending my time, have i been kind, and whether i am happy. i measure my life, based on lessons learn every single day.

to everyone out there, happy new year! live life the way you want to live it, not dictate by others.

and for my memories, a recap of the year 2007:-

• changing jobs yet remaining in the same company - a first for me.
  
• meeting a lovely new friend and fellow reader, Hsin.
• joining the RCIA, thus the beginning of my Spiritual journey.
• acquired a more improved skill of applying make-up, thanks to lots of practice.
• realizing that i'm aging by the speed of Bryan growing up and the numbers of wrinkles on my face.
• commiting to a long term plan where most of my finances go to - sob sob
• finding out that my metabolism rate is sluggish - uh-huh back to square one! darn
• realizing that love is not to be conditional - thanks Mabel!
• climb the Great Wall of China and went back to the past in Hanoi
• gathered my courage and cut my bangs - a hairstyle that i wanted to try since ancient years
• went to lots of weddings and received lots of invitations - congrats, guys! but.. does that mean i'm getting old?
• improved my driving skills - i finally have more confidence in driving further away from home!
• learnt that perseverance paid off..... and it made me a stronger person.
  
• and finally, to end this, i found out that resolutions without the determination and discipline are like empty promises, it just won't happen.
  

was 2007 a good year? of course it was! and to an even better year, 2008, cheers!

merry christmas and a happy new year

merry christmas everyone!

i hate not updating but i could not find the time or the inspiration to update. i'm sorry! this is becoming a habit!

christmas is such a busy time. and buying presents for others is such a headache! i don't know what to choose and gotta buy within budget as i am really broke.

i'm super happy cause i got a bookcase from ikea. now i've got more storage!!! yay!!!! and i spent my christmas' eve rearranging and cleaning my room. what fun!

oh, darn! 2008 is coming. i'm gonna be one year older soon.

ever since i watched one particular episode of ally mcbeal, i made it a tradition to reflect on the past year whenever the year is coming to an end.
"If you think back, and replay your year - if it doesn't bring you tears of joy or sadness, consider the year wasted" Ally McBeal

any tears? anyone?

annoyance is disturbing

grrrr.... i can't understand people who resist helping another person. being busy doesn't give you the right to not help. what i mean is, with the time spend arguing on the phone, the time could be very well spent by helping whatever the person wants you to do. it's not as if it would take you half an hour? only 5 minutes of your precious time? gosh. i'm so flipping angry that i can barely breathe. i am trying my very best not to release my temper to innocent beings. *AARGGH*

*gritting my teeth* annoyance number two would be my favourite mobile network provider, MAXIS. recently my company requested aka commanded us who have the privilege of phone allowance, to switch our Maxis Account to a corporate account. i seriously don't mind changing, although this means i am bonded to use Maxis for the 2 next freaking years, no matter how angry i am with them. and for being bonded for 2 years, Maxis is giving me a lousy phone which probably cost RM200 ish. this step taken by them is, i believe, Maxis is afraid of loosing its subscribers due to next year's MNP (Mobile Number Portability; i.e. in Singapore). Well, if you are truly afraid, then do something with your SERVICE. anyway, i digressed. as i am changing plans, i asked the maxis PIC (Person In Charge) whether my settings aka my billing setting would be changed. HE SAID NO, YOU CAN RETAIN YOUR OLD SETTINGS. and his name is GANGA, please remember his lousy advice. yeah right, i can retain my old settings. i called up MAXIS last night, and i was told by TRACY, miss customer service that my settings is set to default and i gotta register/apply all over again. DAMN.

one tiny annoyance is.... there's another person named Catherine in my office. i know it's a different spelling BUT the pronunciation is the same!!!!!! now i don't know whether my colleagues are addressing me or her.

i better drink some water to cool off. TA, lunch time is here!

first day in multipy!

yay! my very first day of using multiply.... there were previous attempts of luring me to join multiply but to no avail.. but finally i join multiply... just so that i can comment in ann's blog. :P

and multiply has this cool feature where i can cross blog.. meaning that if i post a blog post in multiply.. it will post the exact same one in blogspot... cool huh?

for my blogspot reader's, my multiply site is: www.cathrynling.multiply.com

i'm gonna upload more pics and songs when i've got the chance too.. exciting!

random thoughts

• if ever i am able to emancipate myself from materialism, will happiness easier to achieve? not only materialism, living in the world today, you tend to restrict yourself. for the fear of others' views, for the fear of the unknown, for the fear of just being yourself truly. sometimes, i have the thoughts, that if i ever am able to know myself 100%, to understand myself 100%, would i dislike me?
• taking the challenge, pushing yourself to the limits, to overcome the boundaries that you set yourself, will help you to grow, to become better. this is what i always think. aren't we all suppose to push ourselves to the next level? but sometimes, a sly thought will creep in my mind, "when will it be ever enough? nothing ever seems to be good enough". but i pushed it aside, always.
  
• friends come and go. but true friends remain at your side, throughout. is that true? does that mean that those friends who no longer are your friends, were never a true friend to begin with? i beg to differ. think of it this way, at that moment in life, when you n her were friends, she really was a true friend. it's because, as time passes by, people grow up and you and her grow towards a different direction. sometimes, although i no longer am friends with them, i still care and hope for the best for them. no matter what, they did treat you good before and were there for you before. memories of those happy times, will remain in my heart forever.
• being in a relationship, i know arguments are unavoidable. sometimes, the arguments become so serious, that i can't even remember how it started and what's the reason of arguing. what in the world are lovers arguing for? i thought love conquers all. ROFL.
  
• scoring As and distinctions in exams, you would think that that person will have a high flying career. WRONG! isn't it weird when those who do well in studies, does not always do that well in their career? every parent pushes their child to study and score distinctions for their future, so that the child will have a great career. and thus, the child succumbs, to the expectation that good grades equal to a good career, pushing himself to study and yet, when he begins his working life.... he did not do well. Funny how the world works. the irony of it.
  

yeah, this is the sort of stuff i think. silly me.

gosh, it's late. gotta go. n kill my brain cells.

welcoming the new year

to celebrate the coming of new year (yes, i know it's a month plus away but still just around the corner!), i'd decided to cut my hair. i overcame my fear of the hairstyle being a mistake and took the plunge:-

What do ya think? LOL

My face looks chubbier with the new haircut.

and, i'll upload the pictures on beijing soon... took me quite some time to compile it.. and when i had the time to upload, blogspot refused to co-operate..... i couldn't upload.

life is going to be fun! :) 2008 will be fantastic! *crossing my fingers*

my beijing trip last september

Nice trip, guys! round 2?

surprise phonecall

surprise surprise. i received a phone call from maxis.

why the surprise? cause i didn't expect them to follow up on it.

what happened was, i couldn't send mms using my phone recently, so i called up maxis to troubleshoot and fix it. but they pissed me up real bad.

they keep making me go round and round, unable to solve my problem. i end up sounding really sarcastic. and the customer service girl couldn't solve the issue, she gave me a lame excuse and i gave her a lousy rating for her services.

one week later, someone else from Maxis called, asking what happened that triggered me to give such a lousy rating. i told her that the customer service girl was useless, couldn't help me with my problem and had to resort to lying to pacify me. She couldn't give me any useful suggestions. Sigh.

the person who called me made me feel better and gave me some useful advice. this is what i want! it isn't that hard! i wonder whether the customer service in maxis lacks training or she's just plain dumb?

honestly, receiving that follow-up phone call from maxis really surprised me cause i did not expect them to do so. or perhaps, deep down inside, i didn't think that anyone actually reads the ratings that the customer provides. this shows how much confidence i have of malaysia's customer service' quality.

sleep?

i find it hard to sleep these days. i have a nagging feeling that this may due to my cough medicine.

you see, i was ill a week ago.. and i was coughing non-stop, so i had to take cough mix to be able to have a peaceful night of sleep. the trouble is, right now, i don't feel sleepy at night now.. unless i take the cough medicine.

wow. it's a wonder how fast i began relying on the mixture. cause i only took it for a week, and it's not in huge dosages... only at night, before i sleep.

or could my insomniac nights be due to subconscious stress? dissatisfaction towards something in life? trouble is, i don't know. duh! i did say subconscious stress.

i rather think that it's because of the cough meds. but this side of it seem rather serious. cause i don't want to be dependent on something. i'm not really bothered by this as i think i'll get over this soon enough.

it's just that... i'm still suffering from the cough attacks at night. it just like to visit me when i'm trying to fall asleep.. ain't that a pain in the a**? and my cough mixture is depleting. time for another visit at the docs....

note: i'm just bored and by being bored, i am writing....... nonsense here. sorry. bear with me.

starry starry night

starry starry night... paint your palette blue and grey....

soothing song.... anyone has the MP3? i can't seem to find it..

surprise, surprise.. today i found out that one of my new colleagues found out about my badly hidden secret. this little blog of mine. well, well..

*winkz* it's not a big deal, really. this is a PUBLIC blog. =)

my friends said that i'm a cuckoo.. cause i watch drama by just listening to it.. and barely glance at the screen.... as i'll be doing some paperwork, writing emails at the same time.

what can i say? i'm just good at multitasking! akkakakkakakaka

next thursday, i'll be on leave for a day! yeah! finally..... cause i'm going for an interview....

wey... don't misunderstand, k? i'm just going for an interview for RCIA... for those who doesn't already know, i'm currently attending classes to become a Catholic.. next week, is an interview on my FAITH... sigh.. i'm quite nervous... what if i fail? what if they reject me? what if they think i'm not ready to convert yet???

noooooo!!!! i am ready.. really. i'm really hoping that i can pass the interview...

i'm also looking forward for the Raya holidays... i need some time to catch up with my girls.

this 2 months plus had been such a hectic time for me, at work and in my personal life. i have a special project going on. can't reveal it here yet... but this is one major step.

last weekend, is baby bryan's full month!!!! *muacks. be a good boy, k?*

this saturday, someone is getting married. i'm going to attend the wedding mass and the dinner! *congratulations to the happy couple! have a fantastic honeymoon!*

oh yes, i know i promised to post pictures of the beijing trip.. but i haven't collect all photos from them yet... and as usual, i've been really busy! so sorry!.... the trip was so tiring! i think the distance i walked during that 3 days in beijing... can take me from PJ to KL. ekekekek...

i finally went to the great wall of china.... wahhhhhh.. what a wonder.... and such hard work to climb it...

i'll definitely go there again.. to climb it once more! if i ever get a chance to!

someone.... bring me to the SPA.... i want some time off...

midnight post

it's midnight, and i'm still at it. working, that is.

i wonder how long will this continue.

another work crisis, one after the other. reports, emails, clients, bugs, timeline, CRs, gosh.

my dreams are about work these days.

I'M SUCH A BORE>>>>> what happened to my life? what happened to my inspiration?

and no matter how much i work towards it, i still feel i've not done my best.

deep down, inside, i'm afraid of being said useless.

that's right

one cannot clap with one hand

reminisence of my evening walks with mum

i remembered when i was a little girl, i used to take evening walks with mum. it was my favourite past time, taking that short walk to the side of the main road, and sitting by the curb of a big drain - the main road was higher than the inner roads, so it created a bench/curb for us to sit on.

it was our time together, where i talked all sort of stuffs to my mum, being the usual me, an extremely talkative girl. we used to sit there, watching the cars past by, and we made a game, counting different colors or types of cars that passes by. it's these moments where i grew closer to my mum, these moments which bond us together when i was young.

after spending some time counting cars and looking at the stars in the night sky, we will make our way to the public phone booth, where my mum will make some calls to my uncles and aunts.

little did i know, that our walks in the evening, are actually an escape for my mum. as i grew up, i begin to realize that mum was actually finding a breather during our walks, she was trying to walk away from troubles with daddy.

and today, i finally found out how she felt. why she needed those walks. why she needed some space. what she actually felt when she was walking with me and how lonely she was.

i was alone in the park for 4 hours. i wanted an escape and i didn't know where to look for it. i didn't know how. so i end up sitting there, pondering, searching for an answer. when time came to leave, i didn't know how.

and i finally know how mum felt, when she took the walk home.

sad to say, when those walks ended, throughout those years, i drifted apart from mum.

i miss looking at the stars.

TGIF

Realization that today is friday makes me feel much better. I hope the weekend will be a time of rest and leisure for me. I miss you.

To the battle field

Early morning LRT ride. The thought of going into the battle field is an anguish by itself.

i don't know what to say

it's been too long. i still.. can't find the time and the right mood to blog here. work has been hectic, gosh. maybe for others who are workaholic, my amount of work is nothing.. but to me, right now, it is.

what's new in my life? nothing. as usual, shopping, work, reading, watching tv and nothing much.
this sunday, i have a bonding thing to go to, with my RCIA members.

next friday, i'm flying off to beijing. 4 days. am i excited? i guess i should be, but i can't help thinking about the pending matters.

i find it really hard these days, to control my emotions/anger. these days, there are situations where i just want to strangle/scream/shout/cry but i just swallow it all in. i keep telling myself, this is an obstacle, once i overcome it, i'll be stronger and better.

it'll pass. i know it. well, life would be boring, without its ups and downs, right?

i've really gotta find a way out of this cloud. i guess, i'll post happy pictures of me at beijing. that should cheer me up! n guys, my life is not as dreary as i am potraying it to be in my blog. i'm just a drama queen.

=P

blog temporary down

yes. sorry. i love writing. but....... if only, there are 48 hours in a day.

current:
life=work

weekdays=work
weekends=recuperating

ta. soon to be over.

a layer of dust

i feel that there's a layer of digital dust on my blog. i can almost imagine a digital me, trying to blow all the dust away. i have been neglecting my dear blog, i know. work, has been taking most of my time, and weekends... are spent relaxing or resting. i've been feeling lethargic lately.

hsin, my colleague, was really nice to lend me her books to read. i just finished one of them, "the time traveler's wife". gosh, the book took me along to an incredible journey of a kaleidoscope of feelings. the book was thought provoking, touching..... yet sad. it made me wanting to appreciate normal mundane life, it made me wanting such love.. a person who waits for you no matter what, a person who holds your hand and walk down the path of life with you.

sigh. the disillusionment again.

dear desiree, happy birthday! *muacks* you look beautiful tonight. it was great, seeing all of us together again. i realized, out of a sudden that, we are adults. and darn! i look the oldest.

*yawn* it's getting rather late here. i gotta scoot off to dreamland soon. tomorrow is badminton day and it is 1.53am now.

the weekends.. really do pass too fast. i feel... that my childhood flew by me, my teenage years.. flew by me.. and now, i'm almost in my mid twenties... i'm afraid.. really afraid of having all of my life flew by me.

when small things add up into a big thing

i guess it wouldn't matter so much if it was just this one small thing. but small things add up, and it turns into one big thing. and that one big thing refused to go down my throat. it's just there.

and it's stuck. gosh, if i'm a sink, i would look for the plumber. the plumber from desperate housewives, wisteria lane. =P

but i'm human. tough luck. if i really have a physical thing stuck at my throat for so long, i think i'd die by now. or perhaps i would have got a doctor to get rid of it immediately.

too bad, it's just a metaphor.

tomorrow will be a better day.

3 years ago

3 years ago today, I was drunk.

3 years down the road, I am who I am today.

Random Pictures of Me

My new found friend in SOHO, One Utama. kekekekeke

The Shopaholic In Me - Now you know why I'm so poor

Hmm.. I wonder where's my food??

15 minutes later.... still waiting....

30 minutes later.. Yup, still waiting and starving

Before my make over.. Yeah I know I look very country bumpkin but my hair was in the way

Ta Dah! New look...

I like my LC look better.. haha.. suits me better.

love is not like how u read in books or watch in movies

sometimes, reading too many books and watching too many movies are bad for you. why? because you lose your sense of reality. your expectations towards life are unrealistic. your opinions are formed based on life you see in movies or read in books.

i realized now that what movies/books say about love is a dream. in reality, it's not easy and it's different.

in reality, love is:-

• when he/she cooks instant noodle for you, middle of the night when you are hungry.
• when he/she touches your forehead to check whether you are down with fever.
• when he/she carries a heavy bag for you although he/she has to carry his/her own heavy stuff.
  
• when he/she kisses your cheek when you are reading or watching tv or sleeping.
  
• when he/she refrains from provoking you when he/she knows that you had a hard day.
• when he/she holds your hand when crossing roads or drains.
• when he/she hugs you when you feel cold
  
• when he/she surprises you by buying your favourite food
• when he/she companies you to watch a movie he/she dislike
• when he/she shares with you the good things in his/her life
• when he/she does silly gestures to make you laugh
• when he/she tries to understand your irrational fears and push them away
• when he/she shares with you his/her childhood memories, happy or sad.
• when he/she massages your head when you have a headache
• when he/she starts cam-whoring together with you. LOL
• when silence doesn't need to be a barrier between you. a comfortable silence.

ok. i'll stop being lovey dovey here. but.... doesn't books and movies teach you the most unrealistic stuff? for example, there's no such thing as an 24 hours perfect boyfriend/girlfriend. a boyfriend can't be sensitive to his girlfriend's needs all the time. a girlfriend can't be soft and gentle all the time. when a disagreement/argument happens, you don't make up immediately. nor does he comes apologizing all the time.

a relationship needs work. it doesn't just happen to be perfect from nothing. and most of the time, it is not romantic. come on, tell me, who has the time to be romantic most of the time? gosh.

bad movies, bad books. it creates a maya and blurs your perception of real life.

suitable suitor or the wrong one, it's up to you to decide, not standards set by movies/books. your happiness lies in your hands only.

and guys, have a great weekend! TGIF

Gentle, Soft & Feminine - Definitely not me

today, after some time (i am car pooling with people these days), i took the lrt. as usual, when i am in the lrt, i'll start to think, perhaps cause i was lacking of other things to do. and when i do start to think, i become really pessimistic or maybe you can call it, realistic.

you know how you hear in almost every single love song sung by guys aka men, that the person he is in love with, is gentle, soft and feminine. and thus, when i listen to a song today, a thought sprung up. i realized that i'm not gentle, soft nor am i really feminine. i am in reality, stubborn as a mule, has a temper like a bull, opinionated and loud spoken. does this mean that i'm less attractive to men? does that mean men would not be able to love someone like me?

wow. is this a surprise to me? some part of me will say yes, some part of me will say no. perhaps, i have known it deep down inside, that men aka egoistic people cannot tolerate a person like me for a long period of time. but then again, as i continue thinking, does it matter? do i really need to change for the sake of wanting to be loved? wouldn't i lose my identity? and wouldn't that make me unhappy? wait a minute, isn't the ultimate reason of wanting to be loved is to be happy? gosh, what a predicament.

yes, i do know that having a temper like me is not really a great thing nor it is a thing to be proud of. i admit that i have to learn to be more patient and to handle people with more care. however, i do know that, at the end of the day, a temper like mine will never go away, perhaps i can just tone it down. and being stubborn, is not a good thing either. stubbornness, sometimes causes me to do things that i don't mean to do. or causes me not to do things that i want to. i know i have to learn how to deal with my pride and my want to always be right.

i definitely do not wish to change certain things about me. for instance, i like being opinionated. i like voicing out my opinions and stand firm to it when i know i am right. i like the fact that i am able to tell people my views although i know it might agitate them. i like being direct, i like being honest and not being a major hypocrite. now, notice that i said major hypocrite. after so many years, i realize that every single person in this world is a hypocrite, just that some maybe more fake than the other. i like being real.

i like being me, i know i got to change but not to another person, just a better me. this means, at the end of the day, i definitely will not turn into someone that is gentle, soft and feminine. i'm sorry, i guess you just got to accept me not being gentle, soft and feminine.

:)

Not Pretty Enough - Kasey Chambers

Am I not pretty enough
Is my heart to broken
Do I cry too much
Am I too outspoken
Don't I make you laugh
Should I try it harder
Why do you see right through me

I live, I breathe, I let it rain on me
I sleep, I wake, I try hard not to break
I crave, I love, I've waited long enough
I try as hard as I can

Am I not pretty enough
Is my heart to broken
Do I cry too much
Am I too outspoken
Don't I make you laugh
Should I try it harder
Why do you see right through me

I laugh, I feel, I make believe it's real
I fall, I freeze, I pray down on my knees
I hope, I stand, I take it like a man
I try as hard as I can

Am I not pretty enough
Is my heart to broken
Do I cry too much
Am I too outspoken
Don't I make you laugh
Should I try it harder
Why do you see right through me

Why do you see
Why do you see
Why do you see right through me
Why do you see
Why do you see
Why do you see right through me
Why do you see
Why do you see
Why do you see right through me
Why do you see
Why do you see
Why do you see right through me

I first heard this song on my first night shift in Starbucks.. which was 4 years ago. It struck me to the core. It is as if, the song is about me. I felt myself being strip bare naked, for everyone to see. How I feel about myself, truly. The song... represent me and my insecurities.

I wish that, one day, when I listen to this song, I would not be affected by it anymore.

*yes, des. i'll try to be less vain. i know that beauty is not only skin deep. but somehow, even if u are beautiful inside, you will require to be a bit beautiful on the outside, to be accepted by others.

thank you for tagging me, Pagan! here's my meme

8 random facts/habits about Cath:-

1. i think i would be happier if i am 45kgs. i am just in a self-denial state.
   
2. i am afraid of birds, even chickens. really! once, i didn't go out of the house for the whole day cause there was a rooster at the gate.
3. i always dream of working overseas. i.e. USA, Australia, UK - in pursuit of happiness
   
4. i cry easily. i can go on and on for the whole night. yeah, cry me a river!
   
5. i can't really drive, cause i can't park/reverse. i am extremely ashamed of that fact.
   
6. i am too strong-willed that i think i'm not suitable to date.
   
7. i destroy at least a pair of shoes every month. thus, my excuse to buy more.
   
8. i wallow in self-pity too much. yup, i'm pathetic, i know. trying to learn not to do so anymore!

hmm. i'm not going to tag anyone... please do it if you want to... then let me know, so that i can go read it.

melt it away... and 450ml down

i wish for it to be melted away.... my excess fats. ahhahha

i know i know. the lack of updates. but i have nothing to say and i have been busy.

yesterday, i donated 450ml of my blood away.

honestly, i'm not really a charitable person when it comes to giving money to the unfortunate. i only donate my money to the Church. other than that, when i pass a blind man, or a deaf person tries to sell me something, i will just say no. perhaps, this is due to my cynicism. there's a lot of unfortunate people asking for money from you these days. especially when you are sitting down, eating. i don't know whether they are really that unfortunate or just.. trying to con your money by inducing sympathy.

however, i don't mind donating my blood, anytime! because i am sure it will go to someone who needs it. and the best thing is, no money is involved! yahoo!

gosh.... my office is freezing again... and today is friday... it looks really gloomy outside... rainy friday.

i pledge i will try not to allow the gloominess of the weather to affect me. i promise i will be more cheerful.

have a great weekend, guys!

*i shall love myself more. i shall believe in myself more. i shall i shall i shall forget about responsibilities. why waste my youth away? :P

dear jamy and yenny

hey you two,

please, for my sake, write in englishhhhhhh... i can't read chinese... it's bad enough that every single post in yenny's blog is in chinese... nowadays, jamy's too!!!!!!!!!

both of you are my favourite bloggers.......... now, what am i supposed to do for reading materials? besides, i feel left out!!!

damn it, why can't i read and write in CHINESE?

i'm a freaking CHINESE, for heaven's sake.

gosh. i'm so useless.

oh gosh, memories

as i listen to irreplaceable by beyonce, some sort of feeling crept in. it reminded me of last year's christmas. sigh. i miss having that feeling. i wish it is still here.

i wish it is christmas now. i wish that i feel the same as before.

for me, songs represent memories. it represents the state of mind and the situation that i was in when i first heard that song. i guess, maybe that's why some couples have 'their song'.

every time i listen to a song that i first heard it when i was sad, those sad memories will rush through my mind like angry rivers. and right now, irreplaceable, reminds me of last christmas.

i miss last christmas. i miss feeling that way.

i am doing this because i want to

The four things tag thingie

four jobs I have in my life:

1. events organizing
   
2. software engineer
   
3. regional business development
   
4. project management
   

four places I’ve lived in:

1. Seremban, Malaysia
2. Cameron Highlands, Malaysia
   
3. Petaling Jaya, Malaysia
   
4. Jakarta, Indonesia

four places I’ve been on a vacation:

1. Singapore
2. Bangkok
3. Vietnam
   
4. Pulau Perhentian??
   

four of my favorite food:

1. Aunty's chicken rice
   
2. Hong Kong Porridge (Theng Chai Juk)
   
3. Fried Mee Hoon
   
4. Pan Mee
   

four of the places I’d rather be right now:

1. way back in the past
2. as another person
   
3. at a beach somewhere
4. in a cafe, in Paris
   

The ABC tag

A is for age:
23, i almost forgot that i am 23. i filled up a form the other day, and wrote 22 as my age! LOL

B is for beer of choice:
Heineken

C is for career:
a non-existent one, talk, email, wait, plan, bug, phone, draw.

D is for your dog’s name:
no longer have a dog. i want a beagle or a golden retriever. haven't think of a name yet.

E is for essential item you use everyday:
MAKE-UP & Handphone

F is for favorite song (one only) at the moment:
Gwen Stefani - 4 in the Morning

G is for favorite game:
don't have one currently.

H is for hometown:
Seremban

I is for instruments you play:
None. Does the recorder count?

J is for favorite juice:
Orange!!!!!

K is for kids:
i love babies. but, i don't know whether i'm ready for the responsibility or not. if i do have, i would like to have only 1 or 2.

L is for last hug:
Last night

M is for malls:
The Curve is my current favourite hangout mall.

N is for name of your love:
Stephen. gosh. *i am blushing*

O is for overnight hospital stays:
have not try that yet.

P is for phobias:
Paranoia. I keep having the feeling of leaving important things behind. and Heights, i'm terrify of heights.

Q is for quote:
life is not entirely about the final destination; it is about the journey where you touch people's life and allow them to touch yours - MINE, Cathryn

R is for your race:
Chinese. i think.

S is for status:
In a relationship.

T is for things you like:
Books, Coffee, Money (ROFL)

U is for underwear:
I wish Victoria Secrets is available in Malaysia.

V is for vegetable you love:
Broccoli and Cabbage

W is for worst habit:
Procrastination. I am such a last-minute person.

X is for x-rays you’ve had:
Nose x-ray to see whether i have a problem with my sinus, and chest x-ray for job application

Y is for yummy food you know how to make:
Chicken Stew. and does instant noodles count? i think they taste great!

Z is for zodiac sign:
Taurus, Warmhearted & Loving, Persistent & Determined

migraine & Damien Rice

i woke up with a migraine. pulled myself off the bed, dragged my feet to the washroom, and splashed cold water to my face. took a sleepy hot shower, hoping to feel better.

same old same old, so i skipped breakfast and went to work. when i reached office, damien rice is on the air. darn. the annoyance started to kick in. this is the 3rd day in a row that i'm listening to damien rice, and it is not out of pleasure. i don't even like damien rice's songs in the first place. someone is playing it and i am getting sick of it. it sounds like a bunch of incomprehensible mumble jumble to me. why? because it is being played at a volume that's not soft enough to ignore yet not loud enough for me to understand what it's about.

and it is not helping my migraine either. so i plugged in my earphones and listen to songs that i prefer more. luckily, after a cup of coffee, my migraine miraculously disappear. thank god!

john, i still don't like damien rice. don't try to convert me. after this, i am disliking it more! yes, i admit, i'm more of a pop person. and have a great time in bali! remember to buy me a souvenier, k? take more pictures for us to see..... hope u have another drunken adventure this time around! ROFL....

music of my heart

i am feeling emo again. why? i'm listening to songs that causes my heart to wrench and feel its emptiness. don't ask me why it's empty, because i do not know the reason why.

somehow, i wish there's more to life than just.... my current one. i yearn to be more than who i am. i yearn to have more in life. i yearn to be in the in-crowd. i yearn to be one of those tough women that you come to admire. i........ just wish there's more to me. i wish i am better.

yet, at the same time, i want things to remain as it is. i know i'm on the right track. i know that things are great. i know that i am happy. yet..... i am a person who wants to experience every angle of life. thus, i always have all sorts of what ifs...

somehow, sometimes i feel that i'm missing out of life. i have not travel much. i want to go to lotsa places. i do not know how to play the piano. i do not speak french or japanese. i still can't drive properly. i can't dance. i can't swim properly. i can't cook much. i am still 10kgs or more away from what i wish to be. i don't get to party much. i don't have much time!!!!!!

and here i am, ranting away... why? damn those songs!

i've noticed something.... from long long ago. but i'm not sure whether you will agree with me or not. i noticed that chinese songs bring out deeper emotions than english songs. chinese songs move/touch your heart more. isn't it so?

i am just rambling here. with no specific intention nor am i feeling really depressed... just a temporary thing caused by those DAMN songs!

i'm in the top 3!

i was absent from last week's monthly meeting in my office. thus i did not realize that i was in the top 10 till.....TODAY! when i read the minutes of meeting. damn. not only i'm in the top 10, i am in the top 3!

well, i know you will be wondering what is it that i'm talking about. my company actually monitors how much bandwidth you use each month and rank your usage. i still don't understand how can i be in the top 3???? i don't download things, i don't stream music, i hardly upload pictures. what the hell?????? fyi, i cannot be in the top 3 for 3 consecutive months..... got some mysterious penalty... so, guys, please understand if i don't upload pictures here... i don't want to end up in the top 3 again!

sorry about the lack of update, i was away. took 3 days leave from work, and when i went back to work yesterday, i was too busy and tired to do any updating.

i am still very tired and exhausted. yesterday, bee ling chat with me, and she asked me to organize a get-together before jason goes off to australia.... i was like... me again? i am kinda swamped by work recently.... hahaha.. anyway, i will try to do it once i have enough time.. so jason, when are you leaving again? let's meet up before you leave.......

a post by my dearest friend about me!

Please read below for the whole post about me by Desiree!

Kindred Spirits!

Recently I was told to update my blog by the only person whom i believe actually takes the time to read it. Thanks sweetie! You're the best..you know who you are! Let me tell you a bit about her. Besides my family, she has known me for the longest time. We have known each other since we were both 2-years old. Though we hated each other (ok hate is a strong word, let's just put it as mutual dislike or irritation). We went to the same kindie, primary school and secondary school and we hardly got along back in those days. Towards the end of secondary though, we were civil to each other, close but not tight, but I am glad to say that, she is one of the best friends I have to date. She is the type of person you can depend on for an honest opinion. Never afraid to speak her mind, expect nothing but blatant obvious statements from her when you least expect it. Some may find this odd, peculiar or down right rude, BUT i think this shows her level of sincerity. "No frills!" would be her tagline if i could give her one. I appreciate this kind of honesty. In times of need, she never fails to come through for those whom are truly close to her. It ain't easy getting into her good books, once you are in, stay there and don't be stupid to ever try and get out. Seet @ Cathryn, my oldest and closest friend who will always remain dear to me. I have very few CLOSE friends..or should i call them Kindred Spirits (ala Anne of Green Gables). This blog entry I dedicate to the only fan of my blog! (or the only person who reads it).

awwwwwwwwww... so sweet...

i am so touched....... see guys, remember to appreciate me like how Desiree does.... i want to write more about Desiree today... but i'm not feeling well.... shall write more after i'm back! thanks alot Desiree..

reminiscense of the past: a so-called friend

once upon a time, i was best of friends with this girl, hmm, let's just call her, A. i help out wherever that i could and whenever. i listen to her problems, trying to be a supportive friend. at the same time, i poured my heart out to her. and so, she knows every single little thing about me.

being the caring friend that i was, i tried to help her patch up with her ex. please bear in mind that i do not know her ex. i have never seen him or talk to him. although my house is less than 3 minutes away from her house. however, based on what A told me about him, i thought he was too good of a catch to let go off. so, i tried to patch them back together.

how you asked me? well, since they were still friends and were still meeting up, i kept asking to meet him. i thought if i met him, perhaps i could patch them up. oh, the naiveness. little did i know, she was bitching about me, behind my back., saying that i wanted to snatch her ex bf away from her. huh??? please note that till today, i have not seen him or talk to him ever. also note that, at that time, i was attached... although i was attached to an arse, but that doesn't mean that i want to go flirt somewhere else. sigh.

anyway, i was hurt. as i didn't think for a second that my so-called friend A would ever do that to me. and she did. what i didn't understand was...... why? i only wanted the best for her. then i started to think..... did A's ex bf ever existed? is he just a figment of her imagination? did she created that story up because she wanted to fit in? did she created the story up because she crave for attention?

as i sat there, thinking, i remembered how she used to claim that she could sense ghosts and see them. how her house is haunted. how depressed she felt. how rich she claimed she is. how she claimed her father was a millionaire..... but driving a lousy 15 year old car... huh?? yes, i admit that she has her own sad story, but life wasn't entirely that bad for her. at the end, i came to the conclusion that she's an attention seeker.

i treated her nice even after that incident. i just don't trust her anymore. and i don't think of her as a friend anymore. just an acquaintance. and so... i lost contact with her, after i came to KL to study.

recently.. we came into contact again. as usual, she was telling me stories of how great her life is... in the sense of her career and the money she's earning.... and at the same time, telling me her sob story... saying that she's very sick... and that she has this blood cell imbalance or something. that she keep fainting. in fact, she told me she was admitted to the hospital last week because she fainted.

sad to say..... once you lost my trust and respect.. it's gone forever. i did not feel anything for her. i did not feel sorry neither do i care of her well being. in fact, when she told me she was admitted to the hospital, it was as if she's telling me she ate chicken rice for lunch.

not because i am cold hearted, no no no. it is because.. i simply just don't believe her anymore. i just think that she's exaggerating and is seeking for attention again. to me, she is a major drama queen.

however i don't mind keeping in touch with her. it's good to know more.

and who knows, perhaps, one day, we can truly be friends back. if she ever apologies to me, and explain to me of whatever she did in the past...

but... so far... i'm keeping my cynicism.

my current work station and other pictures

Mr Red to keep me company and light up my day at work. Every time I see him, I can't help but smile. He's so cute! And so nice to hug. On Mr Red's Right is my Lego calendar. Still haven't figure out how to fix that one. Yeah, and on Mr Red's Left, is my Scrabble Calendar. *giggles*

Piggie is on top of Patrick. Oops! ekekeke. They belong to my colleague, Annee. Hmmph, they are always showing me their butt. Rude! *Hehe* Yes, another calendar, a normal one this time.

Overall picture of my workstation. Previously at my old place, it was kinda empty and dull. Now, it is so colorful. Hehe. Yes, a lot of things. Most of them are from my beloved friends.

Cool picture, eh? Taken from Celcom's building. Nice View. Too bad I couldn't take the whole of KLCC Twin Towers. Guess which part of KL is this? Who knows where Celcom is? *Snigger*

Friday's jam and rain. Gloomy Gloomy day. This is what I faced, everyday, after work. Damn the jam. Always giving me a headache. Oooh.... and KL was flooded this morning. Did you guys see it? DBKL was busy cleaning up. Too bad I don't have the picture.