today, after some time (i am car pooling with people these days), i took the lrt. as usual, when i am in the lrt, i'll start to think, perhaps cause i was lacking of other things to do. and when i do start to think, i become really pessimistic or maybe you can call it, realistic.
you know how you hear in almost every single love song sung by guys aka men, that the person he is in love with, is gentle, soft and feminine. and thus, when i listen to a song today, a thought sprung up. i realized that i'm not gentle, soft nor am i really feminine. i am in reality, stubborn as a mule, has a temper like a bull, opinionated and loud spoken. does this mean that i'm less attractive to men? does that mean men would not be able to love someone like me?
wow. is this a surprise to me? some part of me will say yes, some part of me will say no. perhaps, i have known it deep down inside, that men aka egoistic people cannot tolerate a person like me for a long period of time. but then again, as i continue thinking, does it matter? do i really need to change for the sake of wanting to be loved? wouldn't i lose my identity? and wouldn't that make me unhappy? wait a minute, isn't the ultimate reason of wanting to be loved is to be happy? gosh, what a predicament.
yes, i do know that having a temper like me is not really a great thing nor it is a thing to be proud of. i admit that i have to learn to be more patient and to handle people with more care. however, i do know that, at the end of the day, a temper like mine will never go away, perhaps i can just tone it down. and being stubborn, is not a good thing either. stubbornness, sometimes causes me to do things that i don't mean to do. or causes me not to do things that i want to. i know i have to learn how to deal with my pride and my want to always be right.
i definitely do not wish to change certain things about me. for instance, i like being opinionated. i like voicing out my opinions and stand firm to it when i know i am right. i like the fact that i am able to tell people my views although i know it might agitate them. i like being direct, i like being honest and not being a major hypocrite. now, notice that i said major hypocrite. after so many years, i realize that every single person in this world is a hypocrite, just that some maybe more fake than the other. i like being real.
i like being me, i know i got to change but not to another person, just a better me. this means, at the end of the day, i definitely will not turn into someone that is gentle, soft and feminine. i'm sorry, i guess you just got to accept me not being gentle, soft and feminine.
:)
you know how you hear in almost every single love song sung by guys aka men, that the person he is in love with, is gentle, soft and feminine. and thus, when i listen to a song today, a thought sprung up. i realized that i'm not gentle, soft nor am i really feminine. i am in reality, stubborn as a mule, has a temper like a bull, opinionated and loud spoken. does this mean that i'm less attractive to men? does that mean men would not be able to love someone like me?
wow. is this a surprise to me? some part of me will say yes, some part of me will say no. perhaps, i have known it deep down inside, that men aka egoistic people cannot tolerate a person like me for a long period of time. but then again, as i continue thinking, does it matter? do i really need to change for the sake of wanting to be loved? wouldn't i lose my identity? and wouldn't that make me unhappy? wait a minute, isn't the ultimate reason of wanting to be loved is to be happy? gosh, what a predicament.
yes, i do know that having a temper like me is not really a great thing nor it is a thing to be proud of. i admit that i have to learn to be more patient and to handle people with more care. however, i do know that, at the end of the day, a temper like mine will never go away, perhaps i can just tone it down. and being stubborn, is not a good thing either. stubbornness, sometimes causes me to do things that i don't mean to do. or causes me not to do things that i want to. i know i have to learn how to deal with my pride and my want to always be right.
i definitely do not wish to change certain things about me. for instance, i like being opinionated. i like voicing out my opinions and stand firm to it when i know i am right. i like the fact that i am able to tell people my views although i know it might agitate them. i like being direct, i like being honest and not being a major hypocrite. now, notice that i said major hypocrite. after so many years, i realize that every single person in this world is a hypocrite, just that some maybe more fake than the other. i like being real.
i like being me, i know i got to change but not to another person, just a better me. this means, at the end of the day, i definitely will not turn into someone that is gentle, soft and feminine. i'm sorry, i guess you just got to accept me not being gentle, soft and feminine.
:)
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