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Friday, June 29, 2007

oh gosh, memories

as i listen to irreplaceable by beyonce, some sort of feeling crept in. it reminded me of last year's christmas. sigh. i miss having that feeling. i wish it is still here.

i wish it is christmas now. i wish that i feel the same as before.

for me, songs represent memories. it represents the state of mind and the situation that i was in when i first heard that song. i guess, maybe that's why some couples have 'their song'.

every time i listen to a song that i first heard it when i was sad, those sad memories will rush through my mind like angry rivers. and right now, irreplaceable, reminds me of last christmas.

i miss last christmas. i miss feeling that way.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

i am doing this because i want to

The four things tag thingie

four jobs I have in my life:

  1. events organizing
  2. software engineer
  3. regional business development
  4. project management

four places I’ve lived in:

  1. Seremban, Malaysia
  2. Cameron Highlands, Malaysia
  3. Petaling Jaya, Malaysia
  4. Jakarta, Indonesia

four places I’ve been on a vacation:

  1. Singapore
  2. Bangkok
  3. Vietnam
  4. Pulau Perhentian??

four of my favorite food:

  1. Aunty's chicken rice
  2. Hong Kong Porridge (Theng Chai Juk)
  3. Fried Mee Hoon
  4. Pan Mee

four of the places I’d rather be right now:

  1. way back in the past
  2. as another person
  3. at a beach somewhere
  4. in a cafe, in Paris

The ABC tag

A is for age:
23, i almost forgot that i am 23. i filled up a form the other day, and wrote 22 as my age! LOL

B is for beer of choice:
Heineken

C is for career:
a non-existent one, talk, email, wait, plan, bug, phone, draw.

D is for your dog’s name:
no longer have a dog. i want a beagle or a golden retriever. haven't think of a name yet.

E is for essential item you use everyday:
MAKE-UP & Handphone

F is for favorite song (one only) at the moment:
Gwen Stefani - 4 in the Morning

G is for favorite game:
don't have one currently.

H is for hometown:
Seremban

I is for instruments you play:
None. Does the recorder count?

J is for favorite juice:
Orange!!!!!

K is for kids:
i love babies. but, i don't know whether i'm ready for the responsibility or not. if i do have, i would like to have only 1 or 2.

L is for last hug:
Last night

M is for malls:
The Curve is my current favourite hangout mall.

N is for name of your love:
Stephen. gosh. *i am blushing*

O is for overnight hospital stays:
have not try that yet.

P is for phobias:
Paranoia. I keep having the feeling of leaving important things behind. and Heights, i'm terrify of heights.

Q is for quote:
life is not entirely about the final destination; it is about the journey where you touch people's life and allow them to touch yours - MINE, Cathryn

R is for your race:
Chinese. i think.

S is for status:
In a relationship.

T is for things you like:
Books, Coffee, Money (ROFL)

U is for underwear:
I wish Victoria Secrets is available in Malaysia.

V is for vegetable you love:
Broccoli and Cabbage

W is for worst habit:
Procrastination. I am such a last-minute person.

X is for x-rays you’ve had:
Nose x-ray to see whether i have a problem with my sinus, and chest x-ray for job application

Y is for yummy food you know how to make:
Chicken Stew. and does instant noodles count? i think they taste great!

Z is for zodiac sign:
Taurus, Warmhearted & Loving, Persistent & Determined

migraine & Damien Rice

i woke up with a migraine. pulled myself off the bed, dragged my feet to the washroom, and splashed cold water to my face. took a sleepy hot shower, hoping to feel better.

same old same old, so i skipped breakfast and went to work. when i reached office, damien rice is on the air. darn. the annoyance started to kick in. this is the 3rd day in a row that i'm listening to damien rice, and it is not out of pleasure. i don't even like damien rice's songs in the first place. someone is playing it and i am getting sick of it. it sounds like a bunch of incomprehensible mumble jumble to me. why? because it is being played at a volume that's not soft enough to ignore yet not loud enough for me to understand what it's about.

and it is not helping my migraine either. so i plugged in my earphones and listen to songs that i prefer more. luckily, after a cup of coffee, my migraine miraculously disappear. thank god!

john, i still don't like damien rice. don't try to convert me. after this, i am disliking it more! yes, i admit, i'm more of a pop person. and have a great time in bali! remember to buy me a souvenier, k? take more pictures for us to see..... hope u have another drunken adventure this time around! ROFL....

Monday, June 25, 2007

music of my heart

i am feeling emo again. why? i'm listening to songs that causes my heart to wrench and feel its emptiness. don't ask me why it's empty, because i do not know the reason why.

somehow, i wish there's more to life than just.... my current one. i yearn to be more than who i am. i yearn to have more in life. i yearn to be in the in-crowd. i yearn to be one of those tough women that you come to admire. i........ just wish there's more to me. i wish i am better.

yet, at the same time, i want things to remain as it is. i know i'm on the right track. i know that things are great. i know that i am happy. yet..... i am a person who wants to experience every angle of life. thus, i always have all sorts of what ifs...

somehow, sometimes i feel that i'm missing out of life. i have not travel much. i want to go to lotsa places. i do not know how to play the piano. i do not speak french or japanese. i still can't drive properly. i can't dance. i can't swim properly. i can't cook much. i am still 10kgs or more away from what i wish to be. i don't get to party much. i don't have much time!!!!!!

and here i am, ranting away... why? damn those songs!

i've noticed something.... from long long ago. but i'm not sure whether you will agree with me or not. i noticed that chinese songs bring out deeper emotions than english songs. chinese songs move/touch your heart more. isn't it so?

i am just rambling here. with no specific intention nor am i feeling really depressed... just a temporary thing caused by those DAMN songs!

Friday, June 22, 2007

i'm in the top 3!

i was absent from last week's monthly meeting in my office. thus i did not realize that i was in the top 10 till.....TODAY! when i read the minutes of meeting. damn. not only i'm in the top 10, i am in the top 3!

well, i know you will be wondering what is it that i'm talking about. my company actually monitors how much bandwidth you use each month and rank your usage. i still don't understand how can i be in the top 3???? i don't download things, i don't stream music, i hardly upload pictures. what the hell?????? fyi, i cannot be in the top 3 for 3 consecutive months..... got some mysterious penalty... so, guys, please understand if i don't upload pictures here... i don't want to end up in the top 3 again!

sorry about the lack of update, i was away. took 3 days leave from work, and when i went back to work yesterday, i was too busy and tired to do any updating.

i am still very tired and exhausted. yesterday, bee ling chat with me, and she asked me to organize a get-together before jason goes off to australia.... i was like... me again? i am kinda swamped by work recently.... hahaha.. anyway, i will try to do it once i have enough time.. so jason, when are you leaving again? let's meet up before you leave.......

Friday, June 15, 2007

a post by my dearest friend about me!

Please read below for the whole post about me by Desiree!

Kindred Spirits!

Recently I was told to update my blog by the only person whom i believe actually takes the time to read it. Thanks sweetie! You're the best..you know who you are! Let me tell you a bit about her. Besides my family, she has known me for the longest time. We have known each other since we were both 2-years old. Though we hated each other (ok hate is a strong word, let's just put it as mutual dislike or irritation). We went to the same kindie, primary school and secondary school and we hardly got along back in those days. Towards the end of secondary though, we were civil to each other, close but not tight, but I am glad to say that, she is one of the best friends I have to date. She is the type of person you can depend on for an honest opinion. Never afraid to speak her mind, expect nothing but blatant obvious statements from her when you least expect it. Some may find this odd, peculiar or down right rude, BUT i think this shows her level of sincerity. "No frills!" would be her tagline if i could give her one. I appreciate this kind of honesty. In times of need, she never fails to come through for those whom are truly close to her. It ain't easy getting into her good books, once you are in, stay there and don't be stupid to ever try and get out. Seet @ Cathryn, my oldest and closest friend who will always remain dear to me. I have very few CLOSE friends..or should i call them Kindred Spirits (ala Anne of Green Gables). This blog entry I dedicate to the only fan of my blog! (or the only person who reads it).

awwwwwwwwww... so sweet...

i am so touched....... see guys, remember to appreciate me like how Desiree does.... i want to write more about Desiree today... but i'm not feeling well.... shall write more after i'm back! thanks alot Desiree..

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

reminiscense of the past: a so-called friend

once upon a time, i was best of friends with this girl, hmm, let's just call her, A. i help out wherever that i could and whenever. i listen to her problems, trying to be a supportive friend. at the same time, i poured my heart out to her. and so, she knows every single little thing about me.

being the caring friend that i was, i tried to help her patch up with her ex. please bear in mind that i do not know her ex. i have never seen him or talk to him. although my house is less than 3 minutes away from her house. however, based on what A told me about him, i thought he was too good of a catch to let go off. so, i tried to patch them back together.

how you asked me? well, since they were still friends and were still meeting up, i kept asking to meet him. i thought if i met him, perhaps i could patch them up. oh, the naiveness. little did i know, she was bitching about me, behind my back., saying that i wanted to snatch her ex bf away from her. huh??? please note that till today, i have not seen him or talk to him ever. also note that, at that time, i was attached... although i was attached to an arse, but that doesn't mean that i want to go flirt somewhere else. sigh.

anyway, i was hurt. as i didn't think for a second that my so-called friend A would ever do that to me. and she did. what i didn't understand was...... why? i only wanted the best for her. then i started to think..... did A's ex bf ever existed? is he just a figment of her imagination? did she created that story up because she wanted to fit in? did she created the story up because she crave for attention?

as i sat there, thinking, i remembered how she used to claim that she could sense ghosts and see them. how her house is haunted. how depressed she felt. how rich she claimed she is. how she claimed her father was a millionaire..... but driving a lousy 15 year old car... huh?? yes, i admit that she has her own sad story, but life wasn't entirely that bad for her. at the end, i came to the conclusion that she's an attention seeker.

i treated her nice even after that incident. i just don't trust her anymore. and i don't think of her as a friend anymore. just an acquaintance. and so... i lost contact with her, after i came to KL to study.

recently.. we came into contact again. as usual, she was telling me stories of how great her life is... in the sense of her career and the money she's earning.... and at the same time, telling me her sob story... saying that she's very sick... and that she has this blood cell imbalance or something. that she keep fainting. in fact, she told me she was admitted to the hospital last week because she fainted.

sad to say..... once you lost my trust and respect.. it's gone forever. i did not feel anything for her. i did not feel sorry neither do i care of her well being. in fact, when she told me she was admitted to the hospital, it was as if she's telling me she ate chicken rice for lunch.

not because i am cold hearted, no no no. it is because.. i simply just don't believe her anymore. i just think that she's exaggerating and is seeking for attention again. to me, she is a major drama queen.

however i don't mind keeping in touch with her. it's good to know more.

and who knows, perhaps, one day, we can truly be friends back. if she ever apologies to me, and explain to me of whatever she did in the past...

but... so far... i'm keeping my cynicism.

Monday, June 11, 2007

my current work station and other pictures


Mr Red to keep me company and light up my day at work. Every time I see him, I can't help but smile. He's so cute! And so nice to hug. On Mr Red's Right is my Lego calendar. Still haven't figure out how to fix that one. Yeah, and on Mr Red's Left, is my Scrabble Calendar. *giggles*

Piggie is on top of Patrick. Oops! ekekeke. They belong to my colleague, Annee. Hmmph, they are always showing me their butt. Rude! *Hehe* Yes, another calendar, a normal one this time.

Overall picture of my workstation. Previously at my old place, it was kinda empty and dull. Now, it is so colorful. Hehe. Yes, a lot of things. Most of them are from my beloved friends.

Cool picture, eh? Taken from Celcom's building. Nice View. Too bad I couldn't take the whole of KLCC Twin Towers. Guess which part of KL is this? Who knows where Celcom is? *Snigger*

Friday's jam and rain. Gloomy Gloomy day. This is what I faced, everyday, after work. Damn the jam. Always giving me a headache. Oooh.... and KL was flooded this morning. Did you guys see it? DBKL was busy cleaning up. Too bad I don't have the picture.

Friday, June 08, 2007

you are a major piece of shit, you asshole!

you idiotic sick faggot! you are rude, ungrateful, spoilt and so "perasan" that you think you are better than me. please la, look at yourself. i will provide you with a mirror if you don't have one.

when you need something from me, you will be oh so nice to me. you son of a b***h. i have ENOUGH of your ungrateful shit face. i have been so patient and ever so nice to you. out of sympathy, i have been helping you out. and this is how you repay me? damn you. damn you, damn you.

have you no sense of courtesy at all? have you no sense of gratitude? how come people like you have things so easy in life, whereas people like me, have to have it harder? this is so NOT FAIR.

just because i am a sweet young thing, that doesn't mean you can bully me as you wish.

you don't deserve whatever you have. don't come crawling to me, asking for help. cause i have had enough and i'm not going to help you ANYMORE. you can go to hell, for all i care.

you can continue being SICK. i am not going to be your LIFE-LINE anymore. YOU can DROWN for all i care. and i'm pretty sure you will, as i have decided to abandon ship.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

behind my back

i wonder who is throwing daggers at my back.

behind my back, i know people are talking. some may be good, but i think, mostly is bad.

why? because it's human nature. it's human nature to notice the weakness of people and ignore the strengths. it's human nature to highlight and exaggerate and magnify it 10 times, of other people's weaknesses.

why? in my humble opinion, i think it is because most people want to feel superior, thus will try to diminish others by only noticing their weakness.

however, i think this is a wrong strategy for them to become superior/better/whatever, as you can only become better when you feel threatened/motivated by others' greatness.

my theory may be wrong. but i have another theory. when people starts bitching about you, it means that you are doing great and they are actually envious about your success.

to me, i will always notice others' strengths but, due to pride, find it hard to acknowledge it to others. thus, you'll hardly find me saying words of praises to people. at the same time, i hardly bitch about someone, unless i have an intense hatred against that person.

yeah, i am that egoistic. i'm almost like a man. *shivers in disgust*

and yeah, i admit, being egoistic is also a weakness.

and i know, my back is full of holes.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

my beloved pet died

oh, no! my tamagotchi died. sadness. i neglected him for these 2 days only and he died on me. how ungrateful. to think of the time that i spent feeding, cleaning, playing with him. now i have to start all over. and that damn fella doesn't want to go to school. wait, let me teach him a lesson first!

my first tuesday

the moment i reached the church, i was late (10minutes). as i walked up the stairs, all kind of thoughts were flying through my head. who will i be meeting, what do i need to say, where is the entrance. luckily, stephen was there with me. i felt somewhat calmer with him beside me.

i saw a lot of RCIA signboard around; navigating us, newcomers to the room. i saw a few people, sitting at the counter, welcoming us, and registering us. I was given a name tag, the white sticker with your name written on it sort. once registered, i walked slowly to the entrance, guessing the door by the sounds of singing coming out of it.

they were singing a hymn, of which i do not know the title. i was just in time to sing another 2 hymns. it's really astonishing how hymns could reach out and touch your heart. the feelings that you experienced when you listen/sing hymns are really overwhelming. all sorts of different feelings, a kaleidescope of feelings, hmm how do you describe it?

next, Father Martin gave a welcome speech. he was really honest and straightforward regarding his grasp of the English language. i felt so humbled by him. followed by an introduction of the RCIA, its history, what to expect, and the whole journey by michael. to be honest, that part was slightly boring. then michael introduced all of the facilitators and those that are involved in the RCIA.

the next part was a sharing of journey/experience from two graduates.. from 2006 RCIA. that was enlightening and entertaining. the speaker was.... humorous and gave a really well speech. i found it a pleasure to listen to his story. what he described.. somehow was similar to what i felt and what i experienced in the past.

after the two sharings, came a slide show of past year RCIA, pictures of their activities, their joy, their entire journey from June 2006 till April 2007.

the night ended with some food, as always, Malaysians simply love their food.

it was not as bad as i thought it would be. i hope it will be as interesting, if not even better, next tuesday.

anticipation - mr postman, where are you?

i'm waiting for the postman. he'll be my favourite visitor for the day. why? cause i ordered a pair of shoes online. and i can't wait to see it. it's a pink polka dot wedges. it's so girlish that i can almost feel the whoop of joy when i think of it. it's so girlish, maybe when i put it on, i'll dress extra feminine and make up extra girlish. i think i need to purchase a matching hairband and handbag to go with it. *wheee!!!*

this will be my first time of purchasing stuff online. well, buying movie tickets online does not count! let's just hope it's a pleasant experience else i might just swear off online shopping for a long time.

nowadays, i seemed to be on a shopping spree. i kept buying stuff. i feel like buying more makeup to beautify myself. i feel like buying a new facial care line to take care of my face. i feel like buying more clothes to give my wardrobe a breath of fresh air as it kinda looking stale lately. i feel like buying more handbags as i feel that i do not have enough bags for different occasions. but but all these require money. even if i have the money to buy, i may not have place to store it. *sigh*

i'm bored. even bored of looking at my picture that used to be posted at this blog, thus i decided to change the picture. once i changed the picture, i realized that i'm bored of the layout colors and theme also. so i changed that too. and when i changed those, i realize some of my widgets does not match the new layout and color. thus, i delete or changed them. final result, my blog experienced some major revamp.

i even feel like changing more stuffs and making it look more attractive. alas, i do not have the time. perhaps, i will do it when i have the time. but knowing me, the master of all procrastinator, that day is most probably not going to happen anytime soon or if at all. LOL

some comments please.. which do you prefer, the new blog or the old one? anything that i can do to enhance it further? pray tell.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

an idle mind is a devil's playground

yes, it sure is. cause i'm so free, i'm beginning to do nonsense and write nonsense and think of nonsense. bad bad bad.

i'm supposed to be busy. but somehow, i am free now. i wonder why? is it because of my efficiency? or because i am too new and my senior is too busy to delegate extra tasks to me and train me to do it? hmm. point to ponder upon.

last week and a couple of weeks back, i hardly update my blog. as i was BUSY. and my friend John complaint that he has no reading material. is it sufficient now? or is this all crappy and need to be more interesting?

ooh. another update in my working life. as i changed my position from regional business development to project management office, i switched my cubicle too. hehe. now i am seated a couple of seats a way from my old seat. i am still getting used to it as this seat is also very open and a lot of people pass by my seat. damn, lack of privacy. need to be more attentive to who is passing by and who is noticing my screen. LOL. each time i come back from the loo and enter the office, i keep forgetting that i changed seats and kept walking to my old seat. *hehe*

i am so into cam-whoring nowadays. yesterday i snap dozens of pictures of myself. using my W850i and was playing with Stephen's new baby, K810i. i have yet to upload the pictures to my laptop. please be patient, guys. *cam-whore alert!*

on a brighter note, i believe that all of you know that i want to purchase a car.... and have been looking for one that fits my budget and taste. lol. i read news about the locally assembled Suzuki Swift to be priced at RM60k to RM65k. yeah, kinda expensive, i admit. but who knows, perhaps *hoping against all hopes* that it will be priced even cheaper? or maybe it will place some pressure to Perodua and Proton to lower their prices? *i'm keeping my fingers crossed*

ooh. tonight is my first class for RCIA. i'm kinda nervous. yeah, stephen's going to be my sponsor. so, problem solved. but tonight he will be late for the class, so i will enter the class alone. *sweat* it's like the first day of school!

i have to stop writing long winded post, as i noticed my friends are really lazy to read long post. then if no one reads it, why am i writing? waste my effort! ok, to stop it from being too long, i shall stop here now. ta!

45 of the most random things you probably never ever need to know about me

whats your name spelt backwards?: nyrhtac
What did you do last night?: sleep
The last thing you downloaded onto your computer?: my pictures
Have you ever licked a 9 volt battery?: of course NOT
Last time you swam in a pool?: hmm. last year august, in jakarta
What are you wearing?: purple turtle neck and a black pencil skirt
How many cars have you owned?: nada
Type of music you dislike most?: those that gives me a headache
Are you registered to vote?: ekeke. *blushes* i haven't register yet.
Do you have cable?: cable? astro? yeah.
What kind of computer do you use?: erm. a notebook.
Ever made a prank phone call?: of course.
You like anyone right now?: yeah, all my friends
Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?: NO to both, i am afraid of heights
Furthest place you ever traveled?: well, this is embarrasing. Bangkok.
What's your favorite comic strip?: definitely not Garfield. shou! ld be the Malaysian Lat\'s Kampung Boy
Do u know all the words to the national anthem?: Yeah. I'm a good Malaysian
Shower, morning or night?: huh? Both la.
Best movie you've seen in the past month?: Pirates of the Caribbean 3
Favorite pizza toppings?: Crabstick
Chips or popcorn?: Chips
What cell phone provider do you have?: Maxis
Have you ever smoked peanut shells?: What?
Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?: Nope. I don't have the guts to be publicly humiliated.
Orange Juice or apple?: Orange Juice
Who were the last people you sat at lunch with?: Ilin and Pheng
favorite chocolate bar?: Cadbury?
Who is your longest friend and how long?: Desiree. 21-22 Years
Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?: erm. Sunday I guess.
Have you ever won a trophy?: Yeah. For playing with Lego
Favorite arcade game?: Should be Bubble Bubble
Ever ordered from an infomercial?: Nope. Not Yet
Sprite or 7-UP?! : Sprite
Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school/work?: Yes.
Last thing you bought at Walgreens?: Not applicable to Malaysian like me.
Ever thrown up in public?: Yes lotsa times. In front of Zouk, At Telawi street Bangsar, At Cameron Highlands Bus Station
Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love?: hmm, that's a hard one.
Do you believe in love at first sight?: no. love at first sight is more of an attraction/infatuation/crush which develops into love
SPONGEBOB OR JIMMY NEUTRON?: Jimmy Neutron
Did you have long hair as a young kid?: No, really short hair
What message is on your voicemail machine?: Maxis Standard Voicemail Message
Where would you like to go right now?: New York
Whats the name of your pet?: I don't have a pet. Does a Tamagotchi count? It's called Baby
What kind of back pack do you have, and what's in it?: I don't have a backpack now.
What do you think about most?: Losing 10kgs.

Random Thought Provokers

What makes you laugh?:A Good Comedy/Tickle
Who is your hero?:My Father
Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours?:Stephen
How many pairs of shoes do you own?:erm.. 10?
Seriously... Where does the other sock end up?:i hardly wear socks... cause i don't wear sneakers
Who do you blame for your mood today?:no one.. i'm having a great day so far.
If the Internet were sex... I would:be a nympho. i can't live without the internet
Have you ever seen a dead body?:nope. and i dont ever want to see one.
What is something scientists need to invent?:a Food Making Machine - Think of any type of Food and it will cook it. Yahoo!
What should we do with stupid people?:we should send them off to an island. lol. an island-full of them! tourist attraction wey!
Have you ever broken a bone?:so far, nope!
Do you watch local news? Why?:no. i hardly watch the tv.
What happens after you die?:i hope i will go to Heaven.
How big is your bed? Big enough?:nope. i need a king size one.
How long do you think you will live?:i hope as long as it can be, and better still, my looks/body will not look aged, remains 18 forever.

Monday, June 04, 2007

oh no!

darn! my ears are itchy. and red. and hot. they sting.

i hope it's not an allergic reaction towards my new huge white earrings.

if it is, this will be the first time my ears are allergic to earrings.

please make it stop itching! OUCH!

accident!

sigh.

i accidentally bought an expensive top.

gosh. when i actually have to fork out the money, i can feel the heart ache.

yesterday, i went shopping in one utama. didn't plan to buy anything but, as i walked pass G2000, i saw there was a sale going on. so i went in, and grab a few tops.

i wanted to buy 2 similar tops. the price tag stated rm69, or so i thought. when i walk to the counter, i asked for new ones. i didn't buy one of the tops as they only have the display one and it has a stain. so i only took the other one and went to pay. OMG, the price stated at the cashier was rm169. i didn't want to say, "i don't want it now" as there were a lot of people standing nearby me.

because of my pride and ego, i forced myself to buy it. *heartache*

guys, you better say i look good when i wear it!

*psst: give you a clue, it's a black top with white lace.*

Friday, June 01, 2007

every tuesdays 8pm to 10pm

RCIA. I will be there. Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults.

I'm on my way to become a Catholic. i'll be starting my journey next Tuesday, 5th of June 2007. The classes will end somewhere in April 2008. Then, I'll finally be a Catholic.

For those that do not know this about me, I have been going to church since....... 2004. Well, I feel calmer when I'm in the church. I feel more at peace with myself.

But to tell you honestly, at first, when I feel lost or in need of help, when someone asked me to pray, I would be skeptical. I will just pray just for the sake of following instructions, instead of really believing in it. In my heart, I would be wondering what's the point in doing so, cause if every time I pray to God and my prayers are answered, then I'll be a millionaire by now.

However, I noticed that, I really started believing in 2005. My skepticism slowly faded away. I started praying and believing that whatever happens, it will be a test for me to be a better person. I started believing that God is there for me all the time, and I just need to pray.

Now, whenever my close friends are at a dilemma, I'll advice them to pray. But I know that they will give me the same response as I had given to the person that asked me to pray for the very first time. I hope they (my friends) will find their faith too, someday.

Well, I am looking forward to the course. and I'm looking for a sponsor. Anyone?

Des volunteered but I do not want to trouble her as she works long hours and she stays far away, in Shah Alam. But, I do look forward spending time with her each Tuesday, before the class starts. We can have dinner together.

However, can I be so selfish and trouble her? I don't know. I'll try to find others. If I really can't find one, then I guess I have no choice but to trouble her.

I gotta go. It's getting late. It's almost 7pm now.

Good night.

and

God bless.