4th day and cranky

it's the 4th day and i'm still longing for a puff. been eating so much that i can't believe it. it's so hard to control my appetite.

yesterday i went to Madam Kwan's, Mid Valley for dinner. very very fattening. the dinner menu was:-

• fish head curry
• kangkung belachan
• sambal ikan bilis
• claypot seafood beancurd
• sweet and sour chicken
• nasi bojari
• cendhol
• ice lemon tea

by the rate i'm going, i'll balloon up into a pumpkin by June. *sweat*

sometimes i wonder whether someone is blind. it's pretty obvious that girl is plump/fat/whatever but that someone says that she is not, yet says that I am. why is that so? damn geram, you know. i simply find that offensive and BLIND. buy you specs to wear la, so that you can see properly! either that, or LASIK also can la!

i'm cranky. i wonder too, why is it my job to remind people to do their job? why in the hell can't they be more responsible and do it themselves? why do i need to blardy do a list for her, what is needed of her, and calls her to remind her? why is email not enough? is it because you can just pretend you didn't receive that email thus you can get away with not doing the task? and you can't pretend you don't know about the task because i called you and talked to you on the phone? is that why i need to call you every time? yeah, yeah, my job is to follow up on people and monitor them, making sure that she/he is doing her/his job. i'm like a nanny/kindergarten teacher.

and i can't believe my current wants that are floating in my head now. i am SOOOOOO materialistic. why do i need such stuffs for? whatever for? satisfaction? or just to waste money? random info, my credit card expenses are at its limit.

• jason is going to bangkok tomorrow. i am so envious. i want to go shopping and explore bangkok too. it has been 3 years since i last went there.
  
• mabel is going to singapore in june. i want to go to singapore too.
  
• i have not even been to Penang before. Not even Ipoh. gosh, this is pathetic. how pathetic can i get?
• i was reading kennysia today. i want to climb mount kinabalu too!
• i want a car. not just any car, but at least, a toyota. why? i don't know. i'm just being materialistic and cranky.
  
• i want to have lunch with my friends, like the good old days of college. i miss college. i miss being able to smoke (yeah only me smoke among them) and bullshit with them.
  
• i want a smoke. i feel so cranky. cranky cranky. cranky is the theme for today.

yes, this is a bitching post. i am bitching, whining, complaining, whatever la!

i want to curse. i want to swear. in my mind, i'm cursing in cantonese. very unladylike ar? whatever la!

kalau tak suka, jangan baca la. saya tengah frus sekarang. frus tau? tau tak? hari ini, jangan cari pasal dengan saya.

i will bite, i will snap, i will scream, i will punch you right at the eye. this is how frustrated/cranky i am.

i think i got off at the wrong side of the bed. eh, nope, sorry, i only can get off at one side. maybe i angin today. don't play play!