How familiar is that phrase? But how many couples manage to do so? It's not as easy as it sounds. Even if you love him a lot. Even if he loves you a lot. More likely than ever, it's always for better and when for worse, couple.. may not withstand the pressure and say their goodbyes to each other.
I've heard many stories of couple going their separate ways when there is a crisis. Sometimes, it's financial, sometimes it's a death in the family, sometimes it's diseases. Many people, even I included, will criticize the person who chooses to leave his or her partner when in trouble. Seriously, when you sit down and think about it, I cannot entirely blame the person for leaving. It's not easy. It's hard. It's exhausting, draining every ounce of your energy, emotionally, physically and mentally.
Let me help you understand.
Let's just say there is this couple, Drake and Mary. They were really happy together to the extend of planning their wedding. They were suppose to be wed in a year's time. One day, a few months before the Big Day, Drake was diagnosed with cancer. Together, they fought the disease. Mary was there for him through the doctor visits, treatments, basically anything. Drake began to have effects from the chemotherapy. His hair started dropping, he became thinner and as time pass by, he became more and more recluse. He would keep everything to himself and on and off, he'll have emotional outbursts, releasing all his anger, hurt, disappointment and exhaustion on everyone that's close to him.
Mary naturally, took most of it. She understood that she needs to be patient and that he is going through a tough time but, what most people doesn't realize is, what about her? What about the partner of the person who is sick? She could not tell Drake about her feelings, her problems, as he has enough on his plate. In this sense, she just lost her shoulder to rely on. She too, has to cope with the emotions. She too has to fight against the disease, not only Drake. She has this giant ball of worries in her all the time for him. Never knowing when he'll be better.. or perhaps, just suddenly be gone, that she'll wake up one day, alone. Just because she's the partner to Drake, everyone expects her to be there for him, to be strong, to be basically everything. And just like everyone else, she has the same set of expectations for herself. She needs to be there for him, she needs to do everything for him, she needs to ensure everything is in order for him, ensure that he's comfortable, even to the point of neglecting herself.
Then one day, she just couldn't take it anymore. Just right after one of Drake's outburst. Although she loves him a lot, but she's so tired that she could not withstand it anymore. She doesn't have the strength and courage to follow Drake on his journey anymore. She made the hardest decision of her life, which is to leave him. It was the most selfish decision in months. Finally, she is putting her needs first. She has to do it. When she told him, he was quite understanding. They didn't have a fight. In fact, it was the most heart to heart talk ever since Drake found out about his cancer. However, outsiders.. were not that forgiving. All the name callings, all the finger pointing, even some of her so called friends. Oh dear, poor poor Mary.
Sigh. This is reality. Yes, maybe not everyone is that, but this is just one of the scenarios. This proves that we as humans have to be more understanding. Be more open. Stop restricting yourself to the surface and based your opinions on that.
What I've learn as I grew up is there's always two sides to a story. Always a gray area. In life, nothing is as simple as black and white. Nothing is ever really wrong and nothing is ever really right. Depends on how you look at things. I'm learning to be more open and to always try to understand how others feel, to try to be in their shoes and never, never be as judgmental as I was when I was in my teens. I do admit that this is not an easy feat. And yes, I am still a tad judgmental but I'll keep on trying. To understand.
I've heard many stories of couple going their separate ways when there is a crisis. Sometimes, it's financial, sometimes it's a death in the family, sometimes it's diseases. Many people, even I included, will criticize the person who chooses to leave his or her partner when in trouble. Seriously, when you sit down and think about it, I cannot entirely blame the person for leaving. It's not easy. It's hard. It's exhausting, draining every ounce of your energy, emotionally, physically and mentally.
Let me help you understand.
Let's just say there is this couple, Drake and Mary. They were really happy together to the extend of planning their wedding. They were suppose to be wed in a year's time. One day, a few months before the Big Day, Drake was diagnosed with cancer. Together, they fought the disease. Mary was there for him through the doctor visits, treatments, basically anything. Drake began to have effects from the chemotherapy. His hair started dropping, he became thinner and as time pass by, he became more and more recluse. He would keep everything to himself and on and off, he'll have emotional outbursts, releasing all his anger, hurt, disappointment and exhaustion on everyone that's close to him.
Mary naturally, took most of it. She understood that she needs to be patient and that he is going through a tough time but, what most people doesn't realize is, what about her? What about the partner of the person who is sick? She could not tell Drake about her feelings, her problems, as he has enough on his plate. In this sense, she just lost her shoulder to rely on. She too, has to cope with the emotions. She too has to fight against the disease, not only Drake. She has this giant ball of worries in her all the time for him. Never knowing when he'll be better.. or perhaps, just suddenly be gone, that she'll wake up one day, alone. Just because she's the partner to Drake, everyone expects her to be there for him, to be strong, to be basically everything. And just like everyone else, she has the same set of expectations for herself. She needs to be there for him, she needs to do everything for him, she needs to ensure everything is in order for him, ensure that he's comfortable, even to the point of neglecting herself.
Then one day, she just couldn't take it anymore. Just right after one of Drake's outburst. Although she loves him a lot, but she's so tired that she could not withstand it anymore. She doesn't have the strength and courage to follow Drake on his journey anymore. She made the hardest decision of her life, which is to leave him. It was the most selfish decision in months. Finally, she is putting her needs first. She has to do it. When she told him, he was quite understanding. They didn't have a fight. In fact, it was the most heart to heart talk ever since Drake found out about his cancer. However, outsiders.. were not that forgiving. All the name callings, all the finger pointing, even some of her so called friends. Oh dear, poor poor Mary.
Sigh. This is reality. Yes, maybe not everyone is that, but this is just one of the scenarios. This proves that we as humans have to be more understanding. Be more open. Stop restricting yourself to the surface and based your opinions on that.
What I've learn as I grew up is there's always two sides to a story. Always a gray area. In life, nothing is as simple as black and white. Nothing is ever really wrong and nothing is ever really right. Depends on how you look at things. I'm learning to be more open and to always try to understand how others feel, to try to be in their shoes and never, never be as judgmental as I was when I was in my teens. I do admit that this is not an easy feat. And yes, I am still a tad judgmental but I'll keep on trying. To understand.
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